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My Career in Science
Bronwyn Relf
If you are reading this for inspiration from an award-winning career, then stop now. I have certainly taken the scenic route, not the expressway! It has always been a compromise between my desires for establishing a satisfying career, keeping my marriage together, raising healthy children and earning enough to live. It has been an interesting trip so far, and I have learned many things along the way. Sometimes it is the journey, as much as the destination, that makes the trip a success.
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My initial degree
was a Bachelor of Rural Science (Hons) from The University of New England.
Whilst there I met my future husband, and developed a passion for genetics,
particularly genomics. After graduating in 1990, we both found jobs in Sydney.
We both had defi nite career goals, one of mine being to complete my PhD and
work for CSIRO. We also planned to marry in early 1991. I was initially employed
in the Department of Animal Science at the University of Sydney. When I learned
that the grant would not be continuing, I applied for a PhD scholarship offered
for the first time by the University of Western Sydney (UWS) and the then
Division of Animal Production at CSIRO. When I became the inaugural recipient of
this scholarship in 1991, I was ecstatic. Not only was I going to do my PhD, but
I was going to do it at CSIRO — two career goals in one hit! My project was to
examine gene expression in the wool follicle, by screening a sheep wool follicle
bulb cDNA library constructed using RACE (rapid amplification of cDNA ends).
My PhD was an interesting experience
—not at all how I imagined it would be. Firstly, I was not based at UWS but at
CSIRO, a more commercial setting, where I was treated more as a research
scientist than a student. Secondly, I found it daunting to be surrounded mainly
by men. However, two women helped me a great deal. One was Rosemary Sutton, who
introduced me to Wisenet and the support of other women in science. The other
was one of my three supervisors, Elizabeth (Liz) Deane from UWS (now at
Macquarie University). When I began my PhD, Liz had 4 children already, and soon
became pregnant with the 5th.
During my first year I encountered
many technical problems, and at times, I felt quite despondent. However, I
learned a lot about molecular biology, particularly PCR and RNA extraction,
which proved valuable experience. I soon found that I could work more
efficiently by planning experiments ahead of time and running them in parallel.
This however led to friction with other lab members, who spent longer hours at
the bench. Liz’s support was important at these times — she argued for the
result, not the process. She also argued that my decision to get married would
not affect my ability to do my PhD. Liz got me through some sticky times, when
quitting seemed to be the best option.
While my experiments ran more
smoothly after this fi rst year, these early set-backs meant that I could not
complete my PhD within my scholarship’s time-frame. This wasn’t a problem, as I
had been earning extra money by tutoring at university. However in 1995, 4 years
into my PhD, I became pregnant. This was unplanned, and a great shock. However,
Liz Deane had had twins whilst doing her PhD and her third child shortly after
finishing. With her and Rosemary Sutton’s help, I made a plan of attack, booking
child-care centres, and planning to work until just before the baby was born.
However, my body had other ideas. At 28 weeks, my blood pressure was raised and
by 32 weeks, I was in hospital on complete bed rest. My first daughter Madeleine
was born 3 weeks early, with breathing difficulties, and spent a week in
intensive care. This was a sobering experience — it really hit me that this
little baby was completely reliant on me for her health and well-being, and that
my wants needed to become secondary for a time. Reality also hit in terms of
childcare — there were no places available for another 7 months. We could not
afford a nanny, and had no family close by, so I took 6 months off, and earned
money through tutoring.
When I was finally offered 5 days of care, I found that I neither wanted nor could afford to return to full-time study. I therefore returned part-time, studying 2 days per week and teaching for one
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Bronwyn’s other half, Tim Geerarts |
day, in order to cover my
childcare costs. Of course, Maddy picked up every bug imaginable during those
first months at day-care. During this time, I took more days off than I worked.
There were many days when I left the house exhausted, with my clothes on
backwards, or inside out. Finally Maddy developed resistance to all the germs,
and the next challenge became fitting my experimental work into the time
available. My unscheduled hospital stay meant that I still had experiments to
finish. My husband was travelling a great deal overseas and unable to help with
childcare, but I had put too much into my PhD not to finish. With Maddy in
childcare, every day in the lab became a race against the clock, and the Sydney
traffic. At the end of 1997, I had finally finished my experiments — those
planned for the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy had now taken one year to finish!
I then accepted a part-time research assistant position with Liz Deane studying
antibacterial proteins in marsupials, while I was writing up my thesis. I also
continued teaching. I finally submitted my thesis 5 days after my daughter’s 2nd
birthday. I did not see her on her birthday, except when she was asleep — this
was one the hardest days of my life.
'Reality also hit in terms of childcare — there were no places available for another 7 months'
After the struggle to finish my PhD,
I seriously wondered whether I was suited to a research career. My PhD had taken
much longer than planned, was characterised by multiple experimental failures,
and did not result in the publication of any research papers. Moving overseas or
interstate to do a post-doc, with my husband and daughter in tow, was now not a
viable option. My husband earned much more than I did. Financially it was
unviable for him to take a lower paying job, or stay at home looking after Maddy,
while I poured time into my career.
I began looking for work outside the agricultural area. I had amassed a good array of molecular techniques and could trouble-shoot effectively — the upside of having experiments go wrong. In 1999, I applied for a job at the University of Sydney with Dr Karen Waters, examining gene expression in Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) victims. I was interviewed for the position, but was initially unsuccessful. I was however impressed with the group and its work — it had a relevance to which I could now relate after Maddy’s birth. I therefore contacted Karen after the interview, and was finally offered a part-time, one year contract to establish non-radioactive in situ hybridisation on brain tissue from SIDS victims. A part-time position suited me, as I wanted to have another baby, and Karen was aware of this. Karen encouraged me to write grants to secure funding for future projects, and like Liz Deane at UWS, was results-focussed and not process-focussed. I became pregnant with my second child, to be born at the end of my contract, and before any grants might be funded. I was aware that I might be unable to work during my third trimester, but unfortunately caught the fl u in my second trimester, leading to pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung. I then developed blood pressure problems and spent the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy in bed. Alexandria was born in January, 2000. I arranged to take 12 months maternity leave, as I could not afford to have 2 children in long day-care, and my husband was still travelling overseas much of the time. However I remained in contact with the lab and attended conferences, to keep up to date.
'I attended conferences.... to keep
up to date.'
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Bronwyn’s father and daughters with Oliver, the mad Burmese cat. Maddy is at the back, Lexie is in the middle and Katrina is at the front. |
In January 2001, I returned to work
again. The lab had successfully established non-radioactive in-situ RNA
hybridisation on formalin-fixed brain tissue, and we could publish a paper
reporting this success. I began writing this paper, and further grant
applications for projects to begin in 2002. I was also helping to supervise a
PhD student, and teaching part-time. However, 3 months after I returned to work,
my husband accepted an overseas posting, close to his immediate family, that
required him to be away for at least a year. After some deliberation, I decided
to move with him. In retrospect, it was a good year to have spent near my
husband’s family — my mother-in-law became ill with cancer and received much joy
from having her only grandchildren close to her.
We returned to Australia in 2002, in
time for Maddy to start school. There was no funding for me to work in Karen’s
laboratory, so I found a research assistant position with Associate Professor
Maria Byrne in the Department of Anatomy and Histology at the University of
Sydney. I would be working with starfish, extracting RNA and amplifying homeobox
genes from radial nerve cord. Whereas the previous post-doc had been unable to
isolate undegraded RNA consistently, I achieved this within a month, and our
work has since been published. Maria was another woman with whom I enjoyed
working — she had children of her own and understood the need for flexibility.
Unfortunately during that year, my mother died after a short, intense battle
with cancer, which was a devastating experience. She had always been available
for emergencies when my husband was away, or when I was ill myself, so I was
unsure how I would cope without her.
Towards the end of 2002, Karen Waters was successful in obtaining grant funding, and offered me a postdoc position. This would be part-time for the first 2 years (until my youngest child went to school) and then full time. The project involved searching for genes associated with metabolic disease and sleep apnoea, and my position was to oversee and organise the genetic studies. My husband had changed jobs again and was now more available to help with the children, so this seemed the ideal time to give my career the kick-start it needed. Then, between accepting the position and starting work, I unexpectedly became pregnant again. I started work regardless, planning to take only 4 months leave after the baby’s birth, after which time my husband and I intended to both work part-time. Then my father had a massive stroke, 14 weeks before my third daughter was born. Although Dad survived, he was not in a position to retire, or return to running the business that he operated in Newcastle. My husband took over the business, and began commuting between Sydney and Newcastle. I again had to finish work when I was 30 weeks pregnant, and spent the remaining time at home in bed. My third daughter Katrina was born in November, 2003.
'Sometimes I have needed to think
outside the square a little to keep my career going'
With my husband working in Newcastle,
it was now out of the question for me to return to work after 4 months maternity
leave. It was now totally financially and physically unviable for me to work. I
would have had to drop 3 children at 3 different places, drive an hour to work,
do it all in reverse 6 hours later, and pay for the privilege. Nonetheless, it
took some time for me to come to terms with the loss of my working identity. In
mid 2004, after a year of my husband commuting between cities, we decided that
we needed to be a family again and moved to Newcastle. Karen’s research group
had also undergone changes, with Karen relocating overseas to the USA. However,
12 months after Katrina was born, I contacted Karen and offered to analyse and
write up the genetic data that we had collected. We came to an arrangement where
I worked from home 1-2 days per week, and I would also travel to Sydney to
participate in video conferences. We have continued this arrangement for a year
now, and while it is slightly unorthodox, it gets the work done. I aim to
complete the paper by the middle of 2006, and hope to continue to collaborate
with Karen after this time. However if this proves impossible, I am sure that I
will find work elsewhere.
Science is a poorly paid profession,
and my dilemma has always been the cost of childcare. My husband and I never
qualified for any childcare assistance because
of his wage, but while this could support us without me working, I never earned
enough to cover the cost of childcare essential for my career. The cost of
living in Sydney was also high, both in terms of money, and commuting time. In
this sense, I feel extremely fortunate to have had the support of women such as
Liz Deane, Karen Waters and Maria Byrne, who recognised the dilemmas of working
mothers, and were willing to provide flexible working conditions. I have always
put my family first, and always will. I have also been fortunate in having a
husband who has been so supportive of my career. Wisenet has also been an
invaluable source of support, and whilst I do not get to meetings anymore, I
still love to hear about what is happening.
There are times when I think that I
have failed my career in science. There have been no overseas post-doc stints,
and not enough papers published or committees served upon. However at other
times, I feel strangely satisfied with what I have achieved. I have excellent
technical skills in a number of molecular techniques, and have been able to
establish techniques where previous employees had failed to do so. I have
experience in writing grants, ethics applications and papers, and in teaching
and supervising students. Sometimes I have needed to think outside the square a
little to keep my career going. But my career is still there, just waiting for
the day when I can devote more time to it — and I will — one day soon.
Bio: Bronwyn Relf (married name Geerarts) currently resides in Newcastle with her husband Tim, three children and two mad Burmese cats. She is also working part-time with Dr Karen Waters of the University of Sydney and the Children’s Hospital at Westmead.
