The Student’s Lament

compiled from comments to Julie Christie, ACT Convenor, 2003

I think it’s time I got some recognition for my latest amazing scientific achievement, but there is one problem with this – my great scientific breakthrough was to make myself invisible! Therefore, the chances of anyone noticing me in order to award the glittering prize are rather low.

It took me a long time to realise my breakthrough. At first I assumed my supervisor was too busy to talk to me about my work. But then I would sit beside him at coffee breaks and he would look straight through me, and talk to the person beside me, never once making eye contact with me! I’d speak, and he wouldn’t hear me.

Before I realised what I’d achieved, he didn’t speak to me for two whole months! There’s one aspect to my invisibility that I haven’t been able to devise a hypothesis for – I only appear to be invisible to my supervisor. I’m not sure how I managed to make myself invisible only to him; perhaps I reflect light at a frequency incompatible with my supervisor’s retinas?

Further work needs to be done – I’d apply for a grant, but I need my supervisor’s name on it and, well, you see the problem.

Oh well, I shall keep doing my job and hopefully he’ll realise that someone is doing all this work, maybe he thinks it’s the invisible woman?

Hello? Hello? Can you hear me??? Oh, forget it!

(compiled from comments to Julie Christie, ACT Convenor, 2003).